And now time for another self-help book. As you can probably tell, I’ve read a few dating/relationship books (Marry Him, and Are Men Necessary?, for instance) always with the intent (or maybe just a guise?) for humor. So here goes yet another book: Love Factually, by Duana C. Welch.
Welch brings a more scientific approach to the world of dating woes. Well, maybe not scientific per se, but just a little more fact-based than just feelings-based. And it’s interesting to read her take on this whole situation and compare it to other authors, and particularly to read about the trials she endured in her own dating history. She’s now happily married.
She talks about the importance of making a list of absolutely-required characteristics, and then those that are highly-desired but not necessary. And then when in the dating world, apply these absolutely-required characteristics to each of the (potential) dates that you meet. It can save you both a lot of headache if you don’t try to play games with yourself and say, “Oh, he doesn’t have trait X that I absolutely require, but I’ll ignore it for now and hope that he changes down the road.”
And if at some point you are dating someone, and you feel you’ve reached a point where you’re just not feeling it anymore and think the two of you should break up, just do it! Yes, it is difficult and painful, but if it’s something that needs to be done, then do it now rather than let it linger on. Because every moment you spend with someone who’s not for me is a moment you lose finding the person who is right for you. And don’t hang on to someone just because they’re the best you can get “for now”. Welch refers to these as BTNs- Better Than Nothings. If you have a BTN, you’re not freeing yourself up completely to go seek true love.
These are just a couple of the 10 proven steps Welch describes in her book, that are intended to take the reader from “I Wish” to “I Do”. And this advice applies to both women and men.
Ok, so maybe I read this book to get some pointers, and/or to try to make sure I don’t screw up things. We shall see! So if you think you might be pressed on your luck to find that special someone, give this book a read. I promise you it’s not totally sappy.